Anna

Thats supposidly what i have, that and a major depressive eppisode (acute and clinical) and an eating disorder... fun fun fun!

I've been really good the last 24-36 hours... i havn't cut once or taken another OD, which is a huge achievement for me in my current state of mind.

I went to my day care program today, and saw soph, mia and shell, bianca still hasn't returned after her supposide abortion (although we all think she's a compulisve lier so who know what shes been up to). We played drama games which was actually quite fun, and psychotherapy was actually good for a change to, and i got a cool serequl pen. Soph said she'll give me her left over serequel because my parents are to cheap to buy it.

Then i went and got my blood test and went to readings and ordered the post secrets book.

Speaking of post secrets, i found one that really speaks to me...


Anyway...
I hate the word suicidal.... it really does not represent how i feel at the moment, and i'm sick of people using it to describe me... it sounds so, well, fucked!

I feel like i cannot live anymore, i cannot see any future and i cannot be fucked with my life... hmm........

Its another one of those days in hell...
My eating has been appauling
I'm suicidal
I'm bored
I'm tired
and i have so much homework to do

ARGH!!!

Dad's being interviewed for the ABC news, so we're going into Southbank to watch it being taped. It's only him and Me at home. Alla is in Adelade on a Basketball Tourniment, Livie is in Respite and Mum is in Italy.

My dad's now being interviewed for ABC radio on the phone next to me... probably reading everything i'm writing.

Since 12pm today I am on a starvation diet casuse my weight is to fucking huge...

Argh... I hate myself!

You Are 24% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.